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Dr... What! (1965)



Dr. What Dave (Screaming Lord) Sutch

Boobra... ....Dodie West

En... Michael Aldred

Thutham ........... -Adrienne Poster

Group..... The Zombies

Jim Dalek ...

Fred Dalek... Themselves

Erie Dalek...

Harry Dalek ...

FOLLOWING in the tradition of TV shows like Dr. Who we present our own hairy fairy story on FAB's small screen .. . for every Dalek must have its day, even in a jazzed-up way, but it's all good clean fun. Are you seated comfortably? Then we'll begin...

I told that twit Harold not to Duck!

• 1. Dr. What and his friends have just returned in their time machine (cunningly disguised as pillar-box) from a trip to the year 1066.

• 2. Before the four explorers can travel on, Dr. What has to find a mechanical fault blocking the thermonuclear reactor inside his space craft. (Cor!) He soon does this but gets the boot in the process. He's always putting his foot in it. What 'you might call "sole" singing.

• 3. But the Earth is in the grip of a new terror- The Daleks are back ... fighting mad. They're getting too much electrical interference from Beat Groups guitars, so they set out to burn all popsters' hair off with their ray guns. (The Daleks are also jealous because they happen to be bald!)

• 4. Many famous groups are forced to wear head-gear to cover their baldness. But hats off to The Zombies—they put the lid on their problem. The Animals have to consult the R.S.P.C.A. for advice. Then Wayne Fontana takes for his motto the ancient saying: "Baldness he my friend."

• 5. Final humiliation--The Beatles are captured--see Dr. What's TV Time Machine, folks. But the Dr. knows he must stamp out this new menace. He also happens to hare hug hair. It's kinda grown on him. And Dr. What doesn't like to go into things bald-headed ... never tears his hair.

• 6. Little Thutham (Dr. What's granddaughter) rushes to the recording studios—the Dalakes are now after her idols, The Rolling Stones. She tries to upset the Daleks electrical works by paying Guitar Boogie. Just like Bert Weedon did before he lost his 'air on a G string to The Daleks.

• 7. But the cunning Daleks are one move ahead. They advance on her with their anti-beat devices. Our heroine shouts: "Oh, no! Anything but that?" (she's a silent movie fan).

It's beginning to look like another case of hair today and gone tomorrow for the girl with the delicate 'air.

• 8. Then our young hero, En, dashes to the rescue of Little Thutham. Rolling up his manly sleeves (to reveal his manly arms) he says: "How DARE you!" And other strong, manly words.

This is became he is, at heart, a strong, manly fellow (he's a silent movie fan, too).

• 9. Unfortunately our hero's punches don't have much effect on the steel weapons of the Daleks. Scene-stealers from way back, they poke fun at him. En doubles up to avoid their deadly attack. But the chips are down and everything looks a trifle fishy ... when ...

• 10. Dr. What makes a dramatic entry (another silent movie fan). "You miserable machines," he says. "You have the cheek to pit your clockwork intelligence against me. With one powerful thought I shall wipe you from Earth. Tell me, do your cornflakes snap, crackle or pop?"

• 11. Sad to say the Daleks don't see things in the same light. The unfortunate Dr, What is parcelled up for foreign parts. And posted in his own letter-box. Was his face red! Within a few days he was really up the pole. But able to study the problems of refrigeration at first hand.

• 12. Now all good stories have a happy ending. You can Ice what happened to Dr. What and his mates. They made snow business on a big way. "What a snowman!" said Colonel Tom Parker when he heard about it. Off went Dr. What and all to Memphis to guard El's sideburns.

• 13. Here's what happened to our heroes the Dalek. (The reason they're now our heroes is that we just hate to be on the losing side ... that's the way goes!)

They've scalped the Beatles and made the Dalek Top Ten. YOU CAN'T WIN 'EM ALL EARTH MEN. So there!

Disclaimer: These citations are created on-the-fly using primitive parsing techniques. You should double-check all citations. Send feedback to

  • APA 6th ed.: (1965-03-06). Dr... What!. Fabulous p. 4.
  • MLA 7th ed.: "Dr... What!." Fabulous [add city] 1965-03-06, 4. Print.
  • Chicago 15th ed.: "Dr... What!." Fabulous, edition, sec., 1965-03-06
  • Turabian: "Dr... What!." Fabulous, 1965-03-06, section, 4 edition.
  • Wikipedia (this article): <ref>{{cite news| title=Dr... What! | url=! | work=Fabulous | pages=4 | date=1965-03-06 | via=Doctor Who Cuttings Archive | accessdate=17 November 2017 }}</ref>
  • Wikipedia (this page): <ref>{{cite web | title=Dr... What! | url=! | work=Doctor Who Cuttings Archive | accessdate=17 November 2017}}</ref>