Michael Holden's All ears
- Publication: The Guardian
- Date: 2009-05-14
- Author: Michael Holden
- Page:
- Language: English
By a mainline station, there is an old police call post - nothing more than a thin blue pillar that must once have held a telephone - fitted with a sign confirming its dereliction and advising those in need of help to look elsewhere. Any resemblance to its celebrated relative in Doctor Who is negligible, but on a match day afternoon, I watched it beguile two tipsy fans as they tried to make their way home.
Fan 1 (quite fat, clearly the leader)
"Where the fuck are we?"
Fan 2 (smaller, younger, confused by disposition as much as alcohol) "Station innit?"
Fan 1 (seeing the police post) "Whassat about?"
Fan 2 "Eh?"
Fan 1 (getting excited) "It's the whatsit, it's the TARDIS!"
Fan 2 "Eh?"
Fan 1 (really happy now) "The TARDIS!"
Fan 2 (looking a bit annoyed) "That ain't the TAROIS... it's just a thing."
Fan 1 (seeing two policemen approaching in the distance) "Go ask them coppers where we are."
Fan 2 (moving off) "Right."
Fan 1 (calling after him) "Ask them if this is a TARDIS!" The younger man ran up to the police, talked to them and then ran back.
Fan 1 "Is it the TARDIS?"
Fan 2 (defiant) "I never asked 'em about that."
Fan 1 (seeing the police coming closer) "I'll ask 'em myself." But as they arrived he noticed they were heavily armed and, as though the alcohol afforded him a vision of an all too feasible future where pratting about is a capital crime, he elected to say nothing at all.
Disclaimer: These citations are created on-the-fly using primitive parsing techniques. You should double-check all citations. Send feedback to whovian@cuttingsarchive.org
- APA 6th ed.: Holden, Michael (2009-05-14). Michael Holden's All ears. The Guardian .
- MLA 7th ed.: Holden, Michael. "Michael Holden's All ears." The Guardian [add city] 2009-05-14. Print.
- Chicago 15th ed.: Holden, Michael. "Michael Holden's All ears." The Guardian, edition, sec., 2009-05-14
- Turabian: Holden, Michael. "Michael Holden's All ears." The Guardian, 2009-05-14, section, edition.
- Wikipedia (this article): <ref>{{cite news| title=Michael Holden's All ears | url=http://cuttingsarchive.org/index.php/Michael_Holden%27s_All_ears | work=The Guardian | pages= | date=2009-05-14 | via=Doctor Who Cuttings Archive | accessdate=2 April 2025 }}</ref>
- Wikipedia (this page): <ref>{{cite web | title=Michael Holden's All ears | url=http://cuttingsarchive.org/index.php/Michael_Holden%27s_All_ears | work=Doctor Who Cuttings Archive | accessdate=2 April 2025}}</ref>
