And this week's weakest joke award goes to... Doctor Who for his poor quality play on the word "axe".
Belting out an electric guitar solo in a medieval jousting ring, the rock star Doc told a bemused 12th century warrior: "You said you wanted an axe fight. Oh come on! In a few hundred years it'll be really funny." Trust me, it won't.
Anyway, new series... same old apocalyptic claptrap. Like a crazy old man wearing a The End Is Nigh sandwich board, Peter Capaldi's killjoy Time Lord is obsessed with his own death and the destruction of the universe.
But decent scenes last night as our hero came face to hideous face with our anti-hero Davros, the twisted genius who created those deadliest of dustbins – the dreaded Daleks. Excellent exterminators... execrable conversationalists.
"Procured, procured, procured." Really?
Meanwhile, Clara landed on evil Planet Skaro and, inevitably, got killed again. Like she does about 16 times an episode.
Maybe that's why the Tardis guy's sidekick Jenna Coleman is calling it quits. All that dying can get you down.
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