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The Blood Maggot from Drain X (1965)

1965-03-13 Daily Mirror p9.jpg

[edit]

I AM extremely envious of the fortune Mr. Terry Nation is reported to be amassing through his mechanical monsters, the Dr. Who T V Daleks.

A figure of £300,000 was quoted this week, and I have been doing my nut working out how I might pick up a quid or two myself by frightening people half to death.

My kids always watched the Daleks from behind the backs', of chairs, ducking their heads when the strain became too great.

Once I wriggled hideously into the room as the Blood Maggot From Drain X. My chest and knees were on roller skates, mummified in red ink-stained bandages, and I emitted a ghastly wail through two tusks borrowed from the elephant book-ends.

The result was disappointing.

Anna stroked my loathsome head, Jenny pushed a toffee-between the tusks, and Harry jumped on me, shouting "Giddup!"

Back to the drawing board. I could have marketed that kit for 45s., but obviously something more scientific was needed.

CHANCING across a war-time gas mask, I fitted the mouth of it to the hose and nozzle of an obsolete vacuum cleaner.

The effect was completed with a pair of furry ears salvaged from Harry's old donkey. I crept up on them as they were getting ready for bed, as the Toe-Eater From Outer Tottenham, and tried to eat their toes.

They became hysterical, but not, I'm sorry to say, with fright.

A pity, because there must be a lot of gas masks going cheap and I could have mass-produced this outfit for 9s. 11d. a time—furry ears, extra, of course

My Deadly Vampire Snake Bat would certainly have seared the pants off them. But I could not evolve an inexpensive aerial system.

ONE FLICK . .

This was to enable me to fly around the house pouncing on people. paralysing them with one flick of my forked tongue and then sucking their blood. Unfortunately, an estimate of of what such an aerial network would cost put the wind up ME. I tried doing a Charles Laughton as The Hunchback of Notre Dame, with a fair degree of success. But 'every one joined in, using their own cushions and scowls.

I realised that such easy do-it-yourself would not further my gruesome ambition, namely, to coin it,

HOWEVER, after the new T V set was delivered, and I was tearing the innards out of the old one, preparing it for its new role as a rabbit hutch, I made an interesting discovery.

I had caught my head on a screw -sticking down through the roof of the cabinet, and while shrieking and grimacing I glanced out through the glass front. The kids were peering at me from behind chair backs.

I wonder if I'd be a match for Dr. Who just as I am ?

Disclaimer: These citations are created on-the-fly using primitive parsing techniques. You should double-check all citations. Send feedback to whovian@cuttingsarchive.org

  • APA 6th ed.: Scott, Dixon (1965-03-13). The Blood Maggot from Drain X. The Mirror p. 9.
  • MLA 7th ed.: Scott, Dixon. "The Blood Maggot from Drain X." The Mirror [add city] 1965-03-13, 9. Print.
  • Chicago 15th ed.: Scott, Dixon. "The Blood Maggot from Drain X." The Mirror, edition, sec., 1965-03-13
  • Turabian: Scott, Dixon. "The Blood Maggot from Drain X." The Mirror, 1965-03-13, section, 9 edition.
  • Wikipedia (this article): <ref>{{cite news| title=The Blood Maggot from Drain X | url=http://cuttingsarchive.org/index.php/The_Blood_Maggot_from_Drain_X | work=The Mirror | pages=9 | date=1965-03-13 | via=Doctor Who Cuttings Archive | accessdate=17 November 2017 }}</ref>
  • Wikipedia (this page): <ref>{{cite web | title=The Blood Maggot from Drain X | url=http://cuttingsarchive.org/index.php/The_Blood_Maggot_from_Drain_X | work=Doctor Who Cuttings Archive | accessdate=17 November 2017}}</ref>