Sweetie, Darling?
Michelle Gomez was our favourite thing about Green Wing and Psychobitches. And now as Missy, a female incarnation of the Master, she's also our favourite thing about Doctor Who
You're promoting series eight of Doctor Who on DVD – is this your first experience of meeting Doctor Who fans?
Yes. Apart from the other day I did get some croissants [giggles] because there was a woman in Brooklyn that liked Doctor Who, so she gave me some free pastries.
Pick a question from our sweetie jar...
Can we have one with my foot in it? Would that work? I think I could probably get both legs in there [laughs]. I think I should be standing in it.
Have you ever thrown a diva tantrum?
No I haven't no. What with me not being a diva, no.
What's the most embarrassing moment of your career?
Probably when I was a crow, stuck up a tree when I was first starting out. Squawking at people to come into my show. which didn't work. It was all just me and one guy out there. It was when I was first starting out, it was at the Edinburgh festival. I gave good crow.
When was your campest moment?
Oh I think Missy's pretty camp! Missy's pretty high up the list of being my campest creation. Well, I mean you pop that outfit on and there's not much else you need to do really.
What's your favourite song to sing in the shower?
Oh umm hmm, what was that one? [Starts singing] 'What about me, about my life'. [Laughs] Jennifer Hudson sang it in... Dreamgirls.
Who's your biggest crush?
Biggest crush... my husband [Jack Davenport]. He's gorgeous. Still I get asked: 'How did you do that?' [Laughs] I mean, when you get married to somebody, you've been with them for 18 years and you're talking about 'Have you fixed the dishwasher', you forget you've got that sorta domestic bliss going on and then occasionally you see them with fresh eyes and occasionally I do go [gasp] 'My God, you're quite good looking'. Because normally it's [nagging voice] 'Have you done this? Have you done that?' And then you go, 'Oh my God, you're gorgeous.'
What would you name your autobiography?
Damn, I've had a good few in the past and now I'm on the spot I can't think what they are. Oh I don't know. Oh! Pop It In And Give It A Good Stir [laughs].
What's your favourite word?
Potato. Hollamackadoo.
What's your biggest pet hate?
Hollamackadoo is a very good word. I just made it up. What was the other question?
What's your biggest pet hate?
Oh it's sort of... inertia.
Who's the most famous person you've ever met?
Maybe Jack Nicholson. Just did a show with a couple of famous people. Tim Robbins, Jack Black, they're quite famous. I don't know, in this business you sort've, you meet famous people don't you. You just kinda go, 'Oh, hiya.'
Where's the strangest place you've ever put your hand?
[Laughs] That's pathetic. I flew all the way from New York for this...
If your anger had a shape what would it be?
My anger had a shape? A puma. The shape of a puma.
What five words best describe you?
Giddy, dark, light, kind and adventurous.
What's the first thing you do when you wake up?
First thing I do... Well, I have a pee [laughs]. Brush my teeth.
What's your favourite breed of dog? Oh, it's Jack Russell. I have one. Frank Arthur Davenport. He's about seven now. Got him in Fulham.
What's the best freebie you've ever been given?
[Quickly] Oh, you know, first class flights.
Not croissants?
Such a diva... Oh! First class fights, see I AM a diva. First class flights, darling. What a cunt.
What was the last thing you read about yourself on the internet?
I don't. I just don't. I just don't go there. I don't even watch myself either. I haven't really seen this. I tried to watch it the other night but the cable box kept cutting out every single time I came on. It worked perfectly fine for the commercials but every time I came on it just cut out. I tend to just sort of say it and go, and I'm onto the next thing.
What's the worst lie you've ever pulled off?
That I'm a woman. That I'm Jack's beard.
Which reality TV show would you most want to go on?
Oof no. No. I couldn't. No no. I don't think I could do that. [Adopts luvvey actor voice] Just out of principle, because then I'd be out of a job you see!
What kind of films are you into?
Funny and sad, happy and you know, all the films with all the stuff in them [laughs]. The last film I went to see was Birdman, which was incredible, and I like lots of y'know, dark, edgy, Norwegian films. You know, everything and anything really. Anything with Will Ferrell in it. Anything with a broad spectrum of any genre, really.
What's the strangest thing a fan has ever given you?
I haven't really, well back to the croissant again. I haven't really been given anything from a fan. Yet. Well, that fucking jar is a bit odd.
You're not having it. [Laughs] And you're not a fan! You're not having it and I'm not a fan. Have this ladder, climb to the top of it and get over yourself [laughs].
What's your worst ever injury?
Oh, gangrene. On what you would normally call, well...
I'm perfect physically from the knee down and the rest is a mess. Yeah, I had gangrene on the shin. I smacked it. It was an injury when I flung myself off a 30 foot ramp because I was doing a show and my catcher didn't really catch me and my leg smashed down the side of it. I didn't really do anything about it until it went green. Oh it's fine, it's fine...
If you could be an animal which would you be and why?
A bird. I'd like to be a bird flying around the sky. Looking at people. Shitting on people from high [laughs].
If you could go back in time to any period of history when would it be and why? The 50s. Just because of the music. That's why I love Desmond Carrington, from his home in Perthshire. BBC Radio 2, I think. Yes, I just love the romance and all that jazz.
Who's your style icon?
Maggie Smith. Frances de la Tour. If you could have Maggie Smith, Frances de la Tour mashed up with a bit of smattering of Jennifer Lopez. That would be the most perfect woman. [Flips her hair] I'm still, I'm still Missy from the block.
That was a missed opportunity. There should be more Missy songs like that.
[Sings] I'm still, I'm still Missy from the block, used to have a little now I have a lot. Now I've got the universe.
There must be loads of Missy puns. What else haven't we done?
I don't know but we have to say goodbye to Missy, because she's the Master. You mean we can't keep calling her Missy, we have to call her the Master? I insist upon it at home [laughs].
Michelle Gomez may or may not return as Missy or The Master in Doctor Who later this year, series eight is out now
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